Romance Is A Strange Thing - Expansion Pack

(Any resemblance to persons living or otherwise is purely coincidental)

"Man proposes, God disposes"

Christmas Special - Stomped

I'm not talking about the the U.K. percussion sensation. I'm referring to FOOT-STOMPING. Nope, it's not about children throwing tantrums and stomping their feet. I'm talking about guys getting their feet stomped by girls.

On some occasions, I've witnessed such displays of 'playful (may I even add, infantile) violence'. The younger the couple, the more 'violent' it gets. When words cannot express her exasperation, stomping the guy's foot seems the way for the girl to get her message across. Let me illustrate a scenario.

A couple on a bus and they argue about something. The girl cannot out-talk the guy and she goes silent for awhile and also distances herself 1 foot away to 'disassociate herself' from the guy. All of a sudden, she stomps his foot.



The guy ignores her. She becomes annoyed and inches towards him now and glares at him.



Once again, she distances herself from the guy and promptly stomps his foot again. This time, the guy acknowledges that his foot is getting stomped and he's a little annoyed.



Seeing the guy isn't giving her the 'desired reaction', she inches towards him again and glares at him (notice the fiesty look).



Then as though by divine intervention, the bus brakes suddenly at the traffic light and the girl loses her balance. The guy immediately grabs hold of her.



The two look at each other with unnerving silence and tension seems to build up. However, instead of fuelling the tension, the incident defused the tension. The two start laughing sheepishly about the incident and 'patch-up'.



That's when she stomps his foot for a proper closure.



When witnessing such situations, I don't know whether to be envious or not.

p.s. Merry Christmas to all.

Romance Is A Strange Thing

(Any resemblance to persons living or otherwise is purely coincidental)

"It's just a matter of acquired taste"

Scenario A




Scenario B




"Getting home becomes complicated"







"You learn to care to listen to his/her opinions at a cost of cramping your style"

Scenario A




Scenario B

Imperial Duties

It has been awhile since the last entry. Returned from a trip to Penang, Langkawi and Phuket with a bunch of friends. Soon after, I joined the folks from Movie Mania for 'Imperial Duties' at the Singapore Science Centre from 18-19 Nov to promote the ART OF STAR WARS exhibition.

32

Yo Prof, Happy Birthday to you too! And not forgetting a big Happy Birthday to actress Lin Ching Hsia (aka 'Asia The Invincible') also.

After 32 years, still none the wiser.



Like that lor.

Cheers.

Restraining My Laughter

I watched the detective comedy, WHITE CHICKS on a flight to Holland last year. Seated by the aisle, I could see the adjacent passenger watching the same flick.



The movie was such a riot that my friends and I couln't stop laughing throughout the movie. Oddly, the movie wasn't inducing a single laughter from the adjacent passenger (maybe he was plain bored). As a matter of fact, he glared at us when we started laughing. Half the passengers on board were probably watching White Chicks but no one else seemed to be having a good laugh. Were they restraining from bursting into laughter? While I had a good laugh on the plane, I found myself behaving differently in a similar situation back home.

With public buses outfitted with TV Mobile, commuters get to watch episodes of JUST FOR LAUGHS and CANDID CAMERA.







Being a captive audience, I soon found myself looking at the screen to kill time. Some gags were genuinely funny but I could not bring myself to laugh out loud.

A couple of strangers seated opposite me were restraining themselves too. It's almost like stifling a sneeze with your face going into a slight spasm.



I figured I restrained myself from bursting into laughter because I was afraid of public scrutiny within a confined space. The plane may also be a confined space but chances are you won't get to see the same passengers ever again and one could relish the anonymity and laugh out loud. And in a cinema with the lights out, you can laugh your head off with everyone else. Laughing loudly in public transports seems like a taboo.

Imagine the person seated beside you bursting into laughter intermittenly.



And if you are one of those who become flushed easily and are slow in 'recovering' from a laughter, it's going to be pretty awkward too.



Meantime, when faced with a predicament as such, I'll switch to nap mode.

Travel Tips

Updated on 10 September 2008: Amended grammar for German dialogue. Thanks to Michael Wirth for pointing out the mistake. Danke!

Tales Of A Lone Adventurer

LIFE is a quest, very much like playing Dungeons & Dragons. You set out alone and eventually for most people, they will meet someone else and form a party. I'm one of those destined to walk this Earth alone and there are penalties for lone adventurers.

There was an occasion when I arrived at the cinema at the eleventh hour. The choice seats were gone and I had no intention of craning my neck at the front row. Then I spotted two empty seats at the back. But the box office attendant shook her head and said those were couple seats and offered to plonk me somewhere upfront. I waved a "no thanks" and walked away.

Eating at hawker centres could be problematic as well. Most hawker stalls require customers to provide their table number so they can bring their orders to them. On crowded days, this was a problem. The lone adventurer ordered his dish at a stall and pointed at a table five meters away with two empty seats. Immediately the hawker went:"Your table what number?" I walked over to verify and returned to inform the hawker. Then the hawker replied:"Your place got people sit already!" I turned around and saw a couple occupying those two seats. The girl sat down to reserve the other seat while the guy went to order their food. Nearer the stall, no one was leaving their table soon enough for me to provide an alternative. I remained standing until I was handed my plate of food. And only after wandering for 5 minutes did I manage to find a seat.

Lone adventurers are also more prone to random encounters (read Monster Magnet). Once I was having lunch at McDonald's when a middle-aged lady asked if she could share the table with me. I nodded and continued eating. Five minutes later, the lady's true form manifested before me and words praising The Creator oozed out of her orifice. My Level 3 Haste spell kicked-in instinctively.

The lone adventurer shall now tell a tale of his most recent encounter. After collecting my camera from the service centre, I went to a nearby hawker centre for a drink. One moment I was sending an SMS, and the next, a man stood before me as I looked up. At a glance, he reminded me of Jin from the TV series, LOST. The man introduced himself as someone in the advertising field. He politely requested to join me at the table and for me to spare him a few minutes. Having just collected my camera and being in a good mood, I beckoned him to have a seat.

The man explained he was doing a survey for a new product, 'soon to be launched in the market'. He wanted feedback on the design and packaging. I was wondering what product it could be. Perhaps a new MP3 player. Saving my breath, the man told me his product was a men's perfume. Somehow, I could smell trouble but I maintained an open mind nonetheless.

Rummaging through his duffle bag, the man whipped out the following and placed it on the table (I've reproduced the bottle and packaging as best as I can remember. The imagery on the packaging was obtained from another site but it is the exact image used):



STORY OF LOVE...ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER?

With lightning fast reflexes, the man grabbed the bottle and sprayed on my hand. Before I even had time to react, he asked me what I thought of the fragrance. Containing my urge to shape-shift and maul him, I replied I do not use perfumes as I have a sensitive nose. The man gave me a blank look. I added that even then, I could still comment on the packaging. The man was all ears. I had no issue with the design of the bottle (although I could have sworn I had seen a similar design before) but the packaging design was begging to be decimated by Level 40 Heaven's Strike.

"Do you know who this person is?" I asked, pointing to the packaging. "It's Arnold", he replied. I explained that the brand name was inconsistent with the imagery used. There's no way a cigar-chomping Arnold (what's more, an action movie star) was going to pass off as an icon of romance. The man was quick to reply:"But Arnold isn't an actor anymore." I retorted:"But putting a governor's face on a perfume packaging doesn't convey love and romance either."

The man went silent for a few seconds, then he gave this reply: "BUT...somewhere between an actor and a governor, you could find love."

Thankfully, I made a successful saving throw against rapid grey matter decomposition. I went on and told him that as a consumer, I wouldn't be convinced to buy the product. "But this perfume is made in Paris. Perhaps the French see Arnold as romantic", the man exclaimed. "But you're marketing the product in Singapore", I replied. The man went silent again. Reaching for his duffle bag again, he whipped out two ladies' perfume bottles and made an offer:"Story Of Love will soon be sold in shops at $89.90. But if you purchase one now, it will only cost you $19.90. Plus, you'll get these two ladies' perfume free." I reminded the man the I do not use perfumes and I had already provided the feedback he wanted. Looking dejected, the man thanked me for my time and walked away.

The lone adventurer gulped down the remaining sugar-cane juice and went on his way...

Sight For Sore Eyes

Boy was I glad to see my digital camera in action again (after an optical unit transplant) at the service centre.



Service with a smile, delighting me always :)

Inspired

Not too long ago, I joined a local comic art community called SGcomic.com. For weeks, I've mainly been 'ghosting' the site apart from an occasional artwork submission or two. Last Saturday, there was a Mid Autumn Festival gathering (with food and portfolio sharing) for members. I hesitated for awhile before finding my resolve to attend.

Boy was I glad I went.

The folks from the community were great (so was the food) and there were seriously talented people among them. After reviewing each other's portfolio, I realised I haven't been drawing enough. Mingling with these talents jolted me out of my complacency and also greatly inspired me.

Do check out the forum at www.sgcomic.com when you have time. Meanwhile, here's a teaser of my latest artwork submission:



Click the image above to view the full artwork.

Finally customised the header graphic

What is your focus?
Gal	Cup
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Finally figured out the Cascading Style Sheet within the blog template to customise the header graphic.

In this inaugural header graphic, lethargic Unit F-02 is seconds away from gulping down that cup of invigorating takeaway Milo and bounce back to life.

COMEX 2005 post mortem

P.C. SHOW, I.T. SHOW, COMEX... tech-mad Singaporeans just can't get enough. After getting two 1GB compact flash cards, I decided to indulge in my favourite pass time: observing people.


Click image above to view a larger version

It's always crowded at such events but this year's COMEX was ultra-chaotic.

Just A Comic 01

Click to view comic

Post Mortem

During this Hungry Ghost Festival, I find it appropriate to highlight a freaky incident which happened some time ago:



Often, it's not the supernatural which freaks you out.

NDP 2005 Deleted Scene

A.O. conjures a special artwork to celebrate the nation's 40th birthday. Happy Birthday, dude.



Click image to view larger version.

One Of Those Days

I was on my way downstairs when the lift stopped at the fifth floor. Door opened. An unfamiliar face was bringing his two dogs for a walk. "Do you mind?" he asked out of courtesy. "No prob", I replied. In they went. His dogs were staring at me curiously. "What are their names?" I asked. "Big one is Girl and the small guy is Harvey." he replied. "Cool." I added. The lift reached the ground floor and we went our own ways.



Doggone it, what's the fella's name?

Hero Worship

On 24 July Sunday, maverick film-maker Tsui Hark arrived at Wisma Atria shopping centre with Donnie Yen and Charlie Young to promote his new wu-xia (martial chivalry) epic, SEVEN SWORDS. I waited at the atrium for over 2 hours just to see them in the flesh for 30 minutes. 1000% better than waiting 2 hours to see a doctor for 5 minutes. Now, Tsui Hark is a film-maker whom I have the highest respect for. I can relate to him better than some relatives of mine and the irony is, he doesn't even know me. But that doesn't matter. I've been his fan for over 15 years and have maintained a shrine (aka website) for over 9 years to show my devotion.



Being 10 feet away from him was enough to make me high but Donnie Yen and Charlie Young were present as well. Oh...my...God. My mind was on the verge of a cave-in. Donnie Yen... the actor who played Wong Fei Hung's father in Yuen Woo Ping's kick-ass IRON MONKEY. Donnie Yen... the actor who almost kick Jet Li's ass in ONCE UPON A TIME IN CHINA 2. Donnie Yen...the actor who played the super-powerful eunuch in DRAGON INN. Donnie Yen...a mere 10 feet away. Charlie Young...an object of desire during my dizzy Polytechnic days. Charlie Young...who portrayed Zhu Ying Tai in THE LOVERS and wept tears of blood. And you thought Tsui Hark couldn't pull off a weepie. Charlie Young...also a mere 10 feet away.

Can almost die without regrets, I tell you.

Ok, reality check. I've documented the event at Wisma Atria with pics and video clips. I won't blog about it here because the content is over at my Tsui Hark shrine. Check it out if you want.

Haircut

I'm one of those guys contented with a boring haircut. Been this way since Primary One. For over two decades, I've been a regular patron of one of the neighbourhood 'Mat' barber shops and it's always the usual 'trim only'. There's a strange charm about mat barber shops. Something about being addressed 'Hey, Brudder...', listening to the barbers' idle banter about soccer and the hi-fi playing hits from SCORPION and DEEP PURPLE (and sometimes Malay ballads). Charming.

Then some years back, those 'HAIRCUT FOR $10 IN 10 MINUTES' outlets sprung up everywhere. In October 2003, I 'turned my back' on the mat barber shop and gave one of the 'SPEED' outlets a try. Been a convert eversince. These SPEED hairstylists have occasionally persuaded me to do something different to my 'boring haircut'. One suggested I should keep my hair longer but I explained with my kind of face, I would only end up looking like a 'sum-seng'. Another was quick to point out that I cannot cut my hair too short, because:



Brudder, gimme the usual 'trim only' and I happy liao.

Some thoughts on Bloggers.SG 2005

I reached the venue at 1:45pm and a queue had already formed outside DXO. Sure is interesting to see my T-shirt design worn by several volunteers. I thought the queue was for the T-shirt (which I am entitled to a free piece along with the others who submitted designs for the T-shirt design competition) so I joined the queue. Wrong. A volunteer beckoned those in the queue who haven't bought their T-shirts to come forward to make the purchase. Hell, felt like a blur cock.

Leaving the queue, I walked to the guys selling the T-shirts and told them I designed the T-shirt. A lady volunteer asked for my desired T-shirt size and handed it to me without question. I didn't know I had "DANIEL WANG - WINNER OF BLOGGERS.SG 2005 T-SHIRT DESIGN COMPETITION" stamped on my forehead. Either that, or maybe my Jedi mind trick actually worked.

I only attended the first segment (SG blogging communities) of the event as I had other matters to attend to after 4pm. I got to say that Bloggers.SG is an event that one should not go alone (like me). Felt somewhat awkward/detached just by observing members of the various communities or groups of friends chatting away. It seemed so...SURREAL. Like being inside THE MATRIX. "Oh look, that's Mr Brown and company..." A passage from the Bible sums it up real good: "AND THE WORD WAS MADE FLESH."

It IS good to see the luminaries of the SG blogging scene in the flesh. Even though there was an open mike session to prove that the SG blogging aint just about Mr Miyagi, Mr Brown, etc, I felt as though I was attending a hearing in a War Crimes Tribunal. "We will now call upon so and so to provide a testimony...". Maybe the whole event should have been done online, where bloggers can continue to relish their anonymity and give their twenty cents worth.

It figures.

Click for larger version.

My Name Is Ah-Tan, For We Are Many...

Do you have any friends or acquaintances who prefer to be addressed by their surnames? As for me, I know three Mister TANs. In my opinion, there's nothing wrong with their preference. It dispenses with formalities altogether but I feel rather awkward about it.

With reference to the illustration above:
In my previous work place in the media industry, I knew two TANs. The first chap preferred to be known simply as 'TAN'. He worked in another department opposite my office. Tall and friendly chap.

The second chap worked in the same department as me. The 'uncle' preferred to be addressed as 'AH-TAN'. Chatty fella who almost never fails to have 'been there, done that' stories to share.

The third is my neighbour living in the adjacent unit. This jovial man also prefers to be known as 'TAN'. But I address him as Mister Tan out of courtesy.

Oddly, none of the LIMs, LEEs, WONGs, etc whom I know ever asked to be addressed by their surnames. Seems like only the TANs have exceptions.

What The Dickens...

I may be making a fuss over nothing but I'll say it anyway. Next to taking a piss with a cleaner aunty mopping the floor behind you, the other screwed up thing is to have a man bring his daughter into the Gents.

The man's wife may not be around so daddy can't possibly waltz into the Ladies and help Ah-Girl take a piss. SO, daddy brings Ah-Girl to the Gents. It sounds like the thing every responsible dad would do but hey, isn't it somewhat...strange? It's understandable if Ah-Girl still fits in a pram but if Ah-Girl is big enough to know how to say 'shee shee', hey, the Ladies is that way. If Ah-Girl is able to walk already, she should fare better than a toilet-trained cat.

If all the cubicles are occupied, it's just isn't right to make Ah-Girl wait and expose her to the firing squad at the urinals. Can't give Ah-girl the competitive edge over Ah-Boy in the knowledge of the birds and bees.

A situation like this is really awkward and building a 'children's only' toilet with Little Tikes toilet bowls and squatting dumpsters isn't commercially viable too. What a predicament...

Girls With Guns

Last Wednesday, my friends and I engaged in idle banter about women doing National Service. The next day, a particular image appeared in my mind and I churned out the artwork below over the next few days:



Update (26 March): 2 more inspired artworks below :)